I am relatively new to the whole New Year’s resolution
thing. My resolutions always started in September, being the geeky student that
I’ve always been. After all, with a new school year comes new clothes, new supplies,
new classmates, new teachers and new opportunities . January 1 always seemed
like the let down after the excitement, the last day of vacation, the freezing
cold outdoors.
The challenge was, the moment I sat down, I became anxious , and sad. I had been SO
excited to have my New Year’s revelation meditation morning. I
was planning on feeling good, empowered and ready to thrive.
Instead, I found a
lot of UNRESOLVED places both personally and professionally.
I hadn’t accomplished all I wanted to last year. I hadn’t
traveled the way I thought I would. I hadn’t committed to my wellness the way
I thought I would. I hadn’t done what I resolved on January 1, 2015, to do.
I was disappointed with myself. I was afraid , jittery,
frustrated about those old familiar annoying stories that creep up when I am
stepping into new territory professionally and personally.
I know this is not the new year’s post that femmepreneurs always
want to hear. I am sure most want to be
motivated, inspired, hopeful , tasting their success.
Except , that is not always how all femmepreneurs feel .
I am and always will be a firm believer in the concept of embracing
the WHOLE TREE. There are broken branches, withered leaves, abundant fruit, dry
seasons, overripe times, and complete green radiance. If you look closely,
though, you will see some hard won scars in the trunk, some serious longevity in
the rings , and some elegant grace that rises above the winds, rain and glaring
sun.In other words, trees( and solid businesses ) have gone through some 'stuff'.
Here is what I learned this New Year’s about creating a REAL
resolution that brings all of you into the picture.
Look at your wins first
This year, how about buying an “accomplishment journal” that you write
in every evening? Be sure to feel the effects of each accomplishment before
writing the next one. Dismiss nothing which you consider trivial. For example,
doing the dishes when you are laid out with a bad cold is a major
accomplishment in my book.
Disappointments need to be recognized, honored, and
respected
Take some time this January to make a list of any disappointments
you had this year . Notice if the feelings about them are still strong. They
need to grieved , written about, talked about so they are no longer being
carried into 2016 unconsciously.
Ridiculously high expectations are an automatic set up for
failure.
Take a good look at your resolution meter. How often in life do you actually follow
through with what you resolve to do? Did
you say “I do” but didn’t? Do you say “yes” too much? Do you say “no “ too
much? Lower the bar if this is you. A LOT.
Forgiving yourself is not always the best course of action
We often hear the phrase “Oh , she did her best. That’s all she could do”. In
most cases, that is very true, but in some cases, are you being too easy on yourself? Are you constantly using the
excuse of “ I’m only human” to avoid taking responsibility for non-action, unethical
behavior such as stealing someone else’s ideas, or just plain distraction, such
as way too much time on social media? It’s
not always in your best soul interest to make excuses“.
“Sabotaging yourself” isn’t always the reason you can’t move
forward
I can’t tell you how many femmepreneur coaches tell their clients that
the clients are sabotaging themselves by not doing such and such. The reality
is, often those coaches say that to make people feel shame,desperate for
help and sign up for the coach’s program.
There’s another approach. I call it “What
is it , my love?”
You DO need to take accountability for your actions, look
closely at your disappointments so you can feel and heal, be honest with
yourself, expect what’s doable .
You also need to have muchas compassion
for the wandering, scared , helpless little girl that resides inside every
femmepreneur. Don’t listen to anyone tell you that you are sabotaging yourself,
and definitely don’t listen to yourself if that’s where you go . Instead,
pause, breathe, and ask, “ What is it my love? What do you need right now?”
Perhaps it’s a hug, a nap, a piece of dark chocolate, picking up the phone to
make that cold call you have been avoiding for two months.
I guarantee you will
feel more empowered , more focused on your SACRED destiny,and you will make the
best New Year’s resolution you have ever made.
Let me know how it goes. I’d love to hear.
Love,
Marsha Therese
