How much of our behavior is influenced by beliefs that aren't even ours? How much have we "adorned" ourselves with that which doesn't even belong to us?
I am asking myself that question daily at the moment.Sunday night I watched a story on 60 minutes that had everything to do with beliefs.
Pharmaceutical researchers, both men and women, had never thought to research the differences in side effects of drugs for men and women. They even studied mostly male rats.
A PBS special on the Amish followed a number of young people who had left their Amish world to be on the "outside". This meant , in most cases, they would be shunned by their community , even their own parents, unless they returned. One young girl was convinced she might be going to hell for her transgression.
I am in the process of grieving. I have fought for so long to stay alive, stay positive, and simply STAY, that the time to really grieve the piles of losses just never came up.
I started to think- what beliefs are in this culture, even my ethnic background, that have prevented me from the very normal process of grieving?
I've come up with a few ideas so far.
*American culture is so forward acting, so NOT in the here and now, so in the PURSUIT, that the practice of grieving is cumbersome, irritating, just "in the way" of that elusive happiness we are all supposed to be pursuing.
*My Irish Catholic culture has a few ways to grieve:
- A BIG party after someone dies with lots of booze and lots of dancing.
- And... "Get over it already. Don't you know there are people in the world who don't even have a ... place to sleep tonight, food on the table, a family.."
- Poetry
First new belief?
Stay open hearted when the critic comes to confuse me with its beliefs about how things should go.
Want more inspiration? Email me to read a piece I wrote a few years ago on HOPE. Hope it helps you if you are feeling like you "shouldn't" be feeling hopeless after chronic stress or grief.
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