A CRASH COURSE IN CHARGING YOUR WORTHINESS FOR FEMMEPRENEURS

This past week I set out on a fiscal journey to give myself a raise.

I told God I needed a raise too, asking for guidance to help me find the way to my financial worthiness.

Lined up in columns across the entire floor were blank pieces of paper .

At the top of each column was a piece of paper naming each aspect of my business: Yoga, Training, Consultation, Healing.

First, of course, I opened up sacred space with prayers, ritual, a candle and some sage.

Hey, I consider my work holy work, so I need to charge a holy price!

With Sharpie in hand, and a pile of yellow post its, I began my process of figuring out exactly what I should charge .

I wrote down my first number- the number for what I charge now- on my first yellow post it, then planted it on the first blank sheet of paper in the lineup .

 I stood, yes STOOD , on the paper, and waited. 

How did my body feel? Could I breathe with ease?

 Was I feeling comfortable, resentful, frustrated?

I moved on.

Next paper, next post it , higher number. And so it went.

I am still working on this project.

A lot more happened than I expected.

Mostly Feelings.

Feelings of "what the ?", " are you kidding me?""how do I?" "can I really charge that?" and "hell yeah!"

And a whole lot of resentment. I had no idea the depth of frustration I felt that my generosity over the years had also become my financial roadblock. I also had no idea the depth of resentment I felt for people doing similar work to mine who are charging a whole lot more with far less experience or qualifications.

Over the years I have given too much.Over the years I paid for programs I should not have paid for. I gave too much to someone else's happiness and success at the expense of my own. I completely acknowledge that. 

Why? Because of GUILT.

Can any other Femmepreneurs relate?

I carried around some weird responsibility that kept me in this "ascetic mindset" , but I am not a monk and I do not live in an ashram. No heels allowed there!

So I began to notice- people coming in to my life the past few weeks who push some serious buttons in me.

I felt panicked all of a sudden.

Panic is good. 

Panic means I am finally aware that I am being asked to up my game and  define even better boundaries.

It's like giving yourself a patdown, making sure your worthiness is intact.

A friend of mine told me last week

 " Give from your excess, not from your essence".

You know, when you step into a bigger version of your dreams and business, customers have a way of showing up, "suddenly". 

As soon as this fiscal project began in my mind, people started writing, asking me  how much I charge for my work.

Charging my worthiness is not the same as charging "what I'm worth".

Here is my crash course in charging your worthiness

• Acknowledge your credentials. 
• Value your time and energy
• Have absolute integrity
• Only offer what you can truly give from your excess
• Stand in the price that makes your whole body tingle with delight,  sexier and racier than you are used to.For Scorpios like me, your price will be off the charts!
• That's the price that will reflect your worthiness to the world.

Let me know how it goes.

www.TheJOYBreakthrough.com

10 Surprising Benefits of Surviving a Gazillion Life Threatening Illnesses

1. You're free. You really don't care what other people think about you. I mean you REALLY don't care.  You understand that life is soooooo precious that you might as well BE YOURSELF through and through.
2. You speak with hope.Your suffering will always trump everyone else's which is why you don't talk about it too much, because life is soooooo precious you don't want to waste a minute of it. I mean you REALLY don't want to waste a minute of it.
3. Your compassion for others is through the roof!
4. You know A LOT- A LOT about medicine, bodies, pain management, inventive ways to get through the day, maneuvering with crutches, wheelchairs, tight spaces, stairs , health, nutrition, alternative medicine, wellness, spirituality and how to choose your happiness because life is sooooo precious.
5. You are intuitive. You have "feelings" about things and people. 
6. You are at peace. You are no longer afraid of death because you've got that one covered. Been there, done that.
7. Your senses are heightened. You can smell a Bull-s'er a thousand miles away. 
8. You know how to stand up for yourself. If someone tries to put you down or squeeze the life out of you, you know what to do. You've already had the life squeezed out of you so many times you can't even count. You know how to fight, and you know how to win.
9. You care . You are a give back kind of person, someone who truly values life , who doesn't want, but NEEDS to contribute meaningfully to the world.  
10. You are beautiful. And you know it. You've earned your right to shine.Those scars aren't for nothin, honey.

Marsha is the developer of The JOY Breakthrough:A spiritual healing program for women living with or just on the other side of serious or chronic illness.

www.TheJOYBreakthrough.com

ARMOR UP OR OPEN UP. LESSONS FOR THE FEMMEPRENEUR ON STAYING AUTHENTIC

Two authentic joyful world leaders 

 Armor Up.

It's what we do when we are afraid, hurt, angry, uncertain, or ashamed.

It's what we do when we feel bad about our business, our achievements, or our lack of clarity.

It's what we do when we know we are lying to ourselves, but want to save face.

It's what we do when we feel threatened by someone else' s success, or beauty, or whatever it is we don't "have".

It's what we do when our hearts are breaking. And they are breaking much more than we think.

We femmepreneurs put our whole heart in our business. Try as we might to be positive, sometimes it's not exactly what is going on inside.

Every time I see someone succeed on the coattails of content(pretty much stolen) that I created over years of teaching and mastering my craft, I have to swallow and "swim in my own lane". Except sometimes I feel like  I need to build cement walls around my lane so no-one will dive in and swim faster to get to the finish line before me. And then what. 

So what? 

Every time someone who I know is competing with me(yawn)  asks me how my business is doing, I give my best and only answer. " I am so fulfilled by the work I get to do on the planet".  It's about the calling , not the cash.

As a woman, I just don't buy into my value being linked to my number or clients or my cash. 

My value comes from within. The cash comes after. I couldn't live with myself if I was driven by competition alone because it separates me from ME. Yuck!

Open Up

It's what we do when we feel safe with someone.

It's what we do when we are relaxed.

It's what we do when we feel supported and nurtured.

It's what we do when we realize how much we DO have, how much have ALREADY accomplished.

It's what we do when we honor our own efforts and achievements.

It's what we do when we are comfortable in our success, in our beauty, in our SOUL.

It's what we do when we can just exhale and be ourselves.

We femmepreneurs are at a unique juncture in the world. Do we open up or armor up?

What might happen if we allowed ourselves to trust our instincts even more? If we chose women in our business circle who can share authentically and with heart? If we chose to support the right kind of women, rather than drain our energy on women who are still armored( but maybe we think we should get to know because they are so well known. "successful", have the cash, are well connected.- ) But guess what? We don't like them!

We'd rather be ourselves, know who our posse is. Let the wise heart do the talking.

Swami Kripalu ( the lineage from which I studied yoga) once said "Each time you judge yourself(and also others ) you break your own heart."

Please don't break your own heart, sister entrepreneur. Stay authentic. You deserve to be yourself.

The Femmepreneur Expert : Who is She, and How Does She Do It?

www.TheJOYBreakthrough.com

Belief is everything. 

 

In this world of femmepreneurship I am asking myself every day, how is my inner world reflecting my outer world today? Where do I need to clean up my act, and where am I already polished and ready ?
For a long time, I worried about why certain aspects of my yoga and healing programs , and books, were not thriving the way I thought they "should" be. It's really tough when you have worked so hard to develop a training and have one person sign up, to see someone else with less experience , less qualifications and less "classy" marketing tactics flourish beyond their wildest dreams. I don't get jealous. I get mad- mad at myself, wonder what I am doing wrong, what I could be doing better, and the ultimate put down, one I think many of us suffer from- What's wrong with me?

How about nothing? 

I call it the Julia Roberts syndrome. Whether you agree with me or not, I for one think Julia Roberts is gorgeous, warm hearted , interesting, cool and a HORRIBLE actress. Yet, there she is , a mega movie star, getting the roles , getting the moolah, getting the recognition, getting the credit. 
I think it is because she just decided she was a good actress. She created the belief and the belief is reflected back to her.
I remember reading about an incident with Marilyn Monroe, where she was walking with a friend in NYC. No-one recognized her. The friend asked " Why didn't anybody recognize you?"  Marilyn's response? " I was being Norma Jean, not Marilyn Monroe".
Who are you in your public persona? Who are you in your private persona? Does your heart feel clean in how you present yourself? Are you being honest with who you really are? Have you really earned the right to call yourself an expert? Or are you diminishing yourself when indeed , you really are the expert? Are you giving yourself too much credit for someone else's work? Or are you giving yourself enough credit?

Who are you , expert?

 Here is my definition of the femmepreneur expert.

• She has transformative knowledge to share with the world based on lived experience over an extended period of time, at least 10+ years
• She has advanced study in her field
• She  has written about her  field
• She has taught extensively in her field
• She  has found a unique spin and perspective in her field that makes it her own
• She is playfully curious about her field 
• She is not egotistical, but deeply embodies her knowledge 
• She delights in discovery
• She TRUSTS that her knowledge comes from a deeper source and gives credit to Grace.
• She sings her true song, stays in her heart, and stands her ground
• She lives from her body
• She cannot be swayed.

How about you? How do you define expert? Send me an email. We'll chat.

www.TheJOYBreakthrough.com

Get Real in order to Flourish , Womanpreneur! and Yo, Pharrell, own up!

When a woman starts a business, or is well on her way in her business, lots of old behaviors, feelings and 'unfinished' places can make some very grand appearances.

That's a good thing! 

It means you are awakening to releasing old ways of thinking(usually misguided self protection from childhood)in order to embody who you've always been at heart. 
Here are some common behaviors that can come into full frontal view when we are fully immersed in our business:

• Overdoing
• Disorganization
• Overcommitting
• Fear
• Jealousy
• Arrogance
• Apologizing
• Lack of self care
• Grief
• Despair
• Anger
• Frustration
• Confusion
• Poor Decision Making
• Impatience
• Lying

Yup I said it. Lying. 

And here's how it can creep up.

1. You lie to yourself about what you physically can and cannot do by over-committing, overdoing,  becoming underfed, under rested and under cared for.
2. You lie to yourself about what you are really feeling when the technology isn't working, or you can't actually pay for that service, so you go into debt, or mess up your computer by overreaching your technical capacities and don't get the help you need.
3. You say NO when you could say yes because you don't think you have the skills, confidence, ability which clearly you do, according to everyone you know who believes in you.
4. You don't own up when you make a mistake. You say things like " Yeah, I could have been a little touchy" when you exploded at a staff member. Touchy? Really? You were nasty. Own it!
5. You are feeling so sad that things didn't go the way you had planned, and rather than give yourself the completely necessary space to feel the grief so you can move on, you clam up, bite your lip and continue. Believe me when I say, your body will find a nice hiding place for that grief, like lower back pain, an ulcer, high blood pressure.
6. You say you are transparent in  your marketing,  yet your actions are manipulative and deep down, kind of threatening. Entrepreneurs who live from inegriy have no need to say they are transparent. They just are.
7. Maybe you DID take someone elses amazing idea and claim it as your own . You can convince everyone else, but deep down, unless you are a sociopath, your beautiful soul is feeling really ashamed. Why not give the credit where the credit is due? You'll have your moment to shine too. Need some ideas on what not to say when you get found out?Check out Pharrells's lame dishonoring response to Marvin Gaye's family.
8. Finally, maybe you are being too hard on yourself. Maybe you have set nearly impossible standards for yourself that you can't keep, so you "keep up appearances" with others. Inside your soul is crumbling, as it would when pushed too far. 

My recommendation?
Sit quietly with the real you. Ask her who she is, not who you think she is. Watch what pops into your mind. You may be surprised to learn she always wanted to fly kites, or make glass marbles. 

When your soul, your integrity and your self care come together, 

you are  flourishing big time.

Hail Womanpreneur, Full of Grace!

Let's get real together

www.TheJOYBreakthrough.com

Turn on Your Compassion to Turn On your Business: Compassion Practices for the Womanpreneur

 

Turn on your compassion to turn on your business.

If you are a womanpreneur like me with very high expectations of herself, you can sometimes fall into the trap of losing your compassion for yourself and others. You get all wrapped up in the mundane tasks at hand which might be very frustrating( like technology, grr!), that you begin to place unrealistic demands on your abilities and time without giving yourself any supportive way to move through the frustration to a better vantage point.

This past week, I had every desire, intention and NEED to take a retreat. I was fortunate enough to have a  friend who is away at the moment, who told me I could use her house any time I needed.

My goal was to listen to recordings from my Personal Growth folder, write in my journal, read some great books, and sleep.

Instead, I got sick, really sick. So sick that last Saturday it took me an hour just to decide to get up from the couch to go get the medications I needed. Getting to the car took another 30 minutes, then turning on the ignition and pulling out of the driveway was another 30 minute will vs body confrontation. I was floored. I slept intermittently for almost 72 hours. I got nothing done, or did I?

During my imposed retreat, memories of past losses, hurts, pains, and brokenness flooded my mind. It was as if I was cleaning out some 'sick' beliefs that had yet lingered deep down below the surface. 

I had a moment of clarity by day three. I sensed something new was about to happen in my life, and something no longer needed had just died. But with that death, I saw with new eyes of compassion. As if the scales of illusion had fallen from my eyelids. 

I had so much compassion for all I had endured, the way I endured , and how I had dealt with the suffering based on my understanding at the time.
I was reminded of my compassion practices in yoga, which have served me well.
A number of events happened while I did "nothing". My book contract came in the mail with an advance. Woo hoo! I received a large payment for a workshop I had taught. New people signed up for my programs, and I sold a bunch of books online, without lifting a finger.
Some of these compassion practices may seem counterintuitive, but believe me, they are not. If you make these practices a daily part of your life, more WILL come into your life in the feminine way they are supposed to-like a sensual wave of grace.

1. Spend 5 minutes a day in non-judgement and equanimity. This means having no opinions, positive or negative, about anything. You just practice BEING.
2. When your inner critic shows up, give her a big hug. Don't push her away.  Ask her " What do you need, my darling? " Wait for her answer.
3. When you feel like you are being pulled in a million directions, or feeling separate from yourself, STOP. Take a deep breath. Ask your heart " How are you right now? How can I help you? " The world will wait. In fact, it's very sexy to let yourself be in your heart, embodied , before you take the next step. Your body relaxes, your skin glows, you move from within. 
4. When you have those moments of " I am not doing enough", STOP. Breathe. Say to yourself. " I am worthy." 
5. Rest. One thing we women often do is keep going even when we are exhausted. Guess what? That's the old  paradigm, which doesn't work for men or women.  Instead, luxuriate after lunch even if for 5 minutes, by allowing your food to digest. Take a 5-10 minute mini-nap or rest when you start to feel groggy, rather than grab that coffee which drains your bones of nutrients, dries your skin and hair and overactivates your adrenals.
6. Give yourself permission- permission to feel upset, tired, angry, afraid, excited, happy, vulnerable, fierce, strong, peaceful. Give yourself permission to play in the divine field of your work, rather than have to know.
7. Express your true self through your clothes, your words, your daily routines, your nutrition. When you give yourself room to breathe, you loosen up. If you have to dress " corporate" for your job, you can still bring you into the equation with a great piece of jewelry, funky shoes, a unique perfume that suits you.

What are the benefits of compassion?

Better immunity, pain relief, clearer mind, greater sense of connection.

After 72 hours soaked in sickness and self compassion, I finally emerged. I got dressed. I took a step outside. There, directly in my path , was a dead blackbird, her feathers scattered along my path. I felt such compassion for her - this little bird that had tried so hard to get where she needed to go. She didn't make it. It was a sign to me, that my compassion had allowed me to truly let the small frightened flailing little bird inside me take flight into the next life. I quickly cleaned her up , lit a little sage to send her on her way, then sent her where she needed to go.

If you are a womanpreneur who is struggling with the stress of her business or personal life, is not giving yourself the compassion you so desperately need, I can help.  I understand your suffering, and I also know how to help you break free.

Love, Marsha 

www.theJOYBreakthrough.com

AMPUTEES AND THE CULTURE OF FAME

When I first lost my leg in 1976, prosthetics were still in the dark ages. The formula for prosthetics hadn't really changed since WWII. You got what you got , and you did the best you could with it. So, I hobbled my way through high school, blistered my way through college ,New York, Los Angeles, Cambridge, Edinburgh.  In 1991 I got a new prosthesis and a whole new level of mobility. I moved to Paris for the year, then spent a summer at the UN in Geneva. The prosthesis, while still causing me blisters, pain, and a lot of days having stay at home because I just couldn't walk, was still an improvement.
Fast forward 2015 and we see dramatic advances that have changed the way amputees can live  life  There are amputee triathletes, Iron Man competitors, martial artists, mountain climbers, amputee soccer leagues. Through a series of events not just in the prosthetic world but also in the perception of disability , amputees are achieving above and beyond what was possible not that long ago.
There are ads on television featuring amputees, TED talks with amputee presenters, magazine articles, autobiography book deals, all geared toward we, the amazing, inspiring , overcoming amputees. 

Which is starting to make me uncomfortable.

Here's why.
True to American form, we go BIG fast. Major family issues get resolved on television in 22 minutes. Coaching programs offer people complete solutions to their problems by just following their  3 'secret' steps. And amputees who lived in relative obscurity are suddenly the new heroes. 
Zero to 100 in one second. That's how we Americans roll.  
I am starting to notice that what I thought was a great personal achievement-that of staying alive-  just isn't that valued .Now, in order to "Be Amazing" apparently I need to climb Mount Everest (which is so 90's) , run a triathlon AND get signed to Simon and Schuster. And then what?
What woman hasn't thumbed through a woman's magazine and thought, just for a moment, "Geez .I haven't run a family, a company and been a size 2- what's wrong with me?"
What man hasn't felt, just for a moment, that all his hard work and personal integrity wasn't enough? He could be doing more.
I believe there is a significant part of the process missing in all this celebrity amputee status. Americans don't want to hear about that!  It's called 1-99.  That's the AMAZING part , the part no one sees. The tears, the frustration, the fears, the pain, the vulnerability, the body image challenges, you know, the "not so pretty" bits.
If you are an amputee who is just getting back to life, or if you are a seasoned amputee who has weathered a lot to get where you are, you are AMAZING just by choosing to take that first step. 

www.yogaforamputees.com